Hands up, those of you who enjoy outdoor adventures. I applaud you, even though I am not one of you. I’m a city girl, born and bred; I like being in places with high-speed wifi and a wide variety of restaurants available on food delivery apps. I have, however, through my knowledge of watches gained a few survival skills which I will probably never use (unless the zombie apocalypse arrives far sooner than expected). As the designated editorial shepherd watching over the WorldTempus flock of readers, I therefore pass these lessons on. If one day you should find yourself lost in the wilderness, the following paragraphs might help.
Scenario #1 — You foolishly drained your phone battery by Instagramming every few minutes of your hike in an unfamiliar area, and now it’s close to sunset and you have no idea where you are.
You can wait for one of your Instagram followers to notice you haven’t posted in a while and raise the alarm. If you haven’t got any followers (or if you haven’t got the kind of followers who would realise you’re missing), then maybe you shouldn’t have wasted your phone battery in the first place. There’s still hope, though!
Your watch functions as a compass, if you know how to use it. If you’re in the Northern Hemisphere, hold your wrist parallel to the ground and position yourself so that the hour hand on your watch is pointing towards the sun. Note the two angles — one acute and one obtuse — made between the hour hand and the 12 o’clock marker. The line bisecting the acute angle points south, while the line bisecting the obtuse angle points north.
If you’re in the Southern Hemisphere, you need to position yourself so that the 12 o’clock marker is pointing at the sun. The bisecting line of the acute angle formed between the 12 o’clock marker and the hour hand will point north. Or maybe next time, bring a portable phone charger.
Scenario #2 — You’ve figured out which way to go, but you’re too hungry to walk any further! You need food! Why on earth did you give your granola bar to that cute deer? He’s perfectly capable of feeding himself while you clearly are not.
If you’re within sight of any human activity, even if it’s just the occasional car driving in the middle of nowhere, try and attract attention by using your watch crystal to reflect light in their direction. Sapphire crystal is extremely hard and smooth, and it is highly reflective, as anyone who’s ever tried to take a wristshot will tell you. In your eagerness to be rescued, be careful not to reflect light directly into anyone’s eyes. No one’s getting out of here if you temporarily blind your would-be rescuer and cause him to crash his car.
Depending on whether you’re able to trap any small mammals or birds around you, you might try to use your watch crystal to start a fire and roast yourself a little snack. If your watch is one of those oversized steel pieces that could hypothetically knock someone out if you happen to be dancing a little too enthusiastically at the club, you might even want to go looking for that deer. He owes you one anyway, and you don’t know how long you’ll be stuck out here.
Pro tip: Avoid setting fires if you’re in places like California or the eastern coast of Australia. Yes, you want to be rescued, but unleashing a bushfire and mobilising an entire state’s emergency services is going overboard.
Scenario #3 — Literally any hazardous situation you could possibly imagine yourself in.
Get a Breitling Emergency. Problem solved.
