When we think about getting a watch for ourselves or for a loved one, it’s usually on the occasion of something positive — an anniversary, professional advancement, graduation, something like that. The watch serves as a reminder of an event you wish to look back on with pleasure. Recently, however, some collectors I’m in a group chat with apprised me of a different sort of occasion watch: the Divorce Watch.
Jesus Christ, Suzanne, you’re thinking right now. It’s Valentine’s Day, what’s up with the depressing divorce discourse? It’ll make sense at the end, I promise. We can even bet on it, if you like.
So, the Divorce Watch. Ever heard of it? I have to confess my utter ignorance of this phenomenon, having stayed well away from any kind of life situation that might personally acquaint me with the process of dividing my (few) assets. Among friends, I’ve heard of watch purchases that nearly resulted in divorce, but not watch purchases that resulted from divorce. What’s this all about?
Apparently (or so I am told), in our enlightened era of romantic partnership, which has expanded well beyond the conventional ’til-death-do-us-part marriage, the process of romantic separation has also evolved. Divorce no longer has to be the acrimonious and toxic ordeal satirised by sitcoms and stand-up comedians. It can also be a reason to celebrate — transitioning from problematic coupledom to beatific friendship or supportive co-parenthood.
Curious about this phenomenon, I did some further cultural research on the online watch forums, and it turns out that the Divorce Watch is far more common than you’d think. Of course, there are plenty of instances where someone splashes out on an expensive purchase after a divorce settlement, or buys a watch as a self-reward after going though a painful separation, but I came across just as many Divorce Watch stories with a positive, life-affirming energy to them.
It’s not really that strange, if you think about it. We don’t always acquire watches on occasions that are associated uniquely with joy and celebration. All watches that come into our possession through inheritance are linked with bereavement, with the loss of a dearly loved one. Generally speaking, I try not to expect deep philosophical observations from superhero movies, but the recent Marvel series Wandavision contained the line “What is grief, if not love persevering?” It’s a good way to find hope in sad times.
People deal with loss in different ways, and it’s completely up to you if you want to cope by getting a giant tattoo, or getting drunk, or getting a watch, or all three at once. (Though I do not advise buying a watch or getting a tattoo whilst drunk.)
Look, if we’re going to see our timepieces as durable, meaningful objects that follow us through all the seasons of life, then it’s imperative that we start allowing them to represent more than just the conventionally “happy” moments that we see depicted in advertisements. This is not to say that I want to start seeing watch companies using divorce-related imagery in their product communications — that’s not really how advertising works.
But even our sweetest moments in life rarely come undiluted, whether it’s with the tiniest bitter drop of regret, the sour note of envy, the salty crunch of petty triumph. Life is complex; it has many moving parts; it comes at a cost that can sometimes be just too high. You know what else is exactly like that? Watches, yes. But also love.
How many of you accepted the bet I proposed in the second paragraph? You wouldn’t have thought that anyone could coherently assemble an argument about watches and divorce on Valentine’s Day. But we got there in the end. Love gets us all there in the end.
Happy Valentine’s Day, WorldTempus family. There is time for love wherever you are in life — married, coupled up, divorced, single, or anywhere in between.
